It’s all good if you’re a diehard fan

Hell, I wouldn’t mind being a member for a fair few sports and teams

But it’s gone to far

A PET MEMBERSHIP

Does anyone actually want to get a pet membership?

That would just plain be weird!

Take your dog to the game!

Yay!

And have him/her run away and get lost during the game!

Doesn’t it just sound riveting?

Fuck, people are starting to get as stupid as American people

Oh god.

Oh my god!

The spice girls are back!

WHO CARES?

So some shitty singers who sung mass produces pop songs are back!

Who cares?

Call me when a decent band comes back

Like black Sabbath, or iron maiden

You dumb little fucking horse shit eaters!

Anyone heard this as an insult?

I mean, what kind of insult is that?

My mumma?

So what?

You got one to, bitch

Otherwise you wouldn’t be born.

:O

Amazing isn’t it?

Wow!

Everyone has a mother, except god of course.

You know, cause he ‘always was’

Dumb fucking Christians.

Like, the longest you should be able to gloat is maybe, a week at the longest, but not 3 fucking months!

I mean, my friend will, he got an A in his Japanese test, and he’s still gloating about it

WHO GIVES A FUCK?!?!

I mean, Jesus fucking Christ!

Who cares?

You tell us once, were like ‘cool’

Then we don’t care anymore

You don’t need to tell us over and over again!!

Gah!

We don’t want fucking crazy frog!

He was cool for maybe, 10 minutes

Then he just got fucking IRRITATING!

I mean, why is a frog riding an invisible motorcycle going

‘Bring ding ding bring ding bring’

If I wanted to see a naked frog on a bike speaking gibberish,

I WOULDN’T

I mean, fucking hell!

Does anyone else get pissed at the TV for shouting ‘Doors’ at you over and over again?

I don’t, I get pissed at whoever made those ads

They should be fucking outlawed

All they do is piss people off

And the business spends all their money on the ad

It brings in no customers

And the business goes bust and wonders why.

Oh, please answer me people!

WHY IS EVERYONE SO STUPID!?!??!

Drinking diet coke cause it says ‘diet it must be better then normal coke’

You fools, your not supposed to drink 30 liters of it in a day!

You fools!

The only way to loose weight is to eat and drink healthily, and not drink diet coke and eat chocolates all the time!

Gad damn, people are so stupid these days.

You wonder why you gain weight, try exercising what an amazing new concept!

It might make you less fat!

And maybe eventually skinny!

They wear their pants so low, and they speak like ‘a nigga bro’

But, how the fuck does that make them cool?

They think they are, therefore they are?

How is that possible?

Jacob is confused here!

They hang out in groups of about 7-8

And wear pants around their knees, and big skate shoes

And like, mostly white, white shirt, white bandana

It’s just plain weird.

‘Foxtell gives you access to heart pumping sports such as Soccer, football, Cricket, and golf.

How the fuck is gold heart pumping!

I mean;

Yeah, soccer – relatively heart pumping – sometimes

Yeah, football – most games are exciting

Cricket – not so much, but still pretty entertaining to watch, if your into cricket

Golf- how is it heart pumping to watch golf?!

It’s like a guy/girl with a golf club, hitting a ball

Sure, it takes skill. But it aint heart pumping to watch!

They set like, 50 jobs for them to do, and don’t pay them,

I could understand if they got paid,

They aint getting paid

Therefore it’s slave labor. The definition of slave labor is when you work, with no reward.

I get paid $10 a week, and I do my fair share of work, that’s fair

I get another $10 for mowing our lawn

And I get $40 for cleaning the whole house – the same as a cleaner

That’s fair, considering we have a decently sized house.

But people who do everything get nothing

I feel sorry for them.

Stupidest religion I have ever heard of, I mean seriously, who can be expected to believe they have a little alien inside them, I mean, honestly.

Gullible much?

Here’s two points about scientology

Point number one;

How come in autopsies no-ones ever found this little alien?

Or where the aliens kept?

Point number two;

It was written by a bloody science fiction writer!

Who would be fucking stupid enough to believe in scientology?

It’s just grade A bullshit, but I suppose,

A minority of people must believe it, because

I mean, it’s not only washed up celebrities who are turning to it now.

Ordinary, dumb ass yokels are as well

Maybe I’ll make my own religion…

Like, there was an ad I saw a few hours ago even, when there was a spice girl saying

‘Thousands of people die, due to poverty, and you can make a difference’

This from a spice girl.

One of the biggest users of the worlds national resources.

Get fucked bitch, I don’t like you, I’ll donate, when you actually donate.

You stupid woman.

Are you ever going to realize, that only a small amount of people actually liked the spice girls?

And the only reason your stupid fucking concert sold out was because you only had one quarter of the ordinary seat amount.

You stupid women.

Go fucking die!

If we wanted you coming around to our house trying to convert us, we would already be your stupid fucking religion

God dammit!

You dumb religious fuckers!

WE DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR STUPID FUCK GOD

Sure, it’s the same as the Christian god, so why don’t you just become Christian, would stop you irritating the general population.

Dumbass.

God dammit Jacob, you’re a piece of work arentcha?

Well, I guess I am, but I didn’t force you to read this rant, did it?

Yeah, I didn’t think so either, you chose to read it, and, eh, I don’t care about your opinion of me, I’ll form one of you as well.

I guess, you think im an asshole, I’ll tell everyone about it, and get a fan base against you.

:O

Internet fights,

Are they lame or what?

Your gonna have a fight with someone over the internet?

I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

The worst you can do is block them and be like, ‘STFU ASSHOLE!’

Ooh, that stings. I think I’ll go cry. :’(

Wow!

That was eventfull, what an amazing fight!

Lets go talk about it at school tomorrow!

Internet fighting is like being in the special Olympics

Even if you win, your still a retard.

Honestly,

Who gives a flying fuck?

I mean, whos in grade 4 and dates?

It has to be the stupidest thing ive ever seen!

You haven’t even got neer puberty, yet your dating?

I mean, the closest your ever gonna get with them, is holding hands!

Ooh, most people during dates, well, sane people who aren’t fridgid

Hold hands on the first date, and a lot of people kiss on the first date.

You fucking dumb little whores.

The parents who are all like ‘ever since we got the internet, my kids got more attitude’

Your kid was gonna get more ‘tude even if you lived in a cave with a bear.

There comes a time when all children develop attitude, it’s called puberty.

You dumb adults, you went through it, and if you didn’t how the fuck are you a parent?

Grrr, people who blame myspace/bebo/MSN because there little ‘golden 12 year old’ is a whore, your kid was a whore before myspace, she’ll be a whore after myspace.

People, who are whores, stay whores.

I mean, half of them make you look like a farm hand, and the other half make you look like you’ve just had sex, and wanna have it again soon.

You fools!

Guys don’t like most of the new styles, I mean, overalls?

That’s what you wear when you’re out milkin’ the cows.

Not when you’re going on a date with your boyfriends!

You stupid, stupid little fuckers!

I mean honestly, does any sane guy out there think that the new ‘styles’ are actually very good looking?

I know I don’t!

Yeah, there the people stupid enough to do stuff that was performed on TV, by trained professionals.

I mean, whos stupid enough to try and lift a moving truck – ‘because superman did it’

SUPERMANS NOT REAL FOOL!

He’s fictional.

He was created by the imagination of a man.

You dumb little shits.

Who’s everyone? I really want to meet them; they do some pretty stupid things,

I would quite like to shut them up, by pointing out there stupidity.

I mean, everyone would make me seem quite intelligent wouldn’t they?

Good work everyone; you made a freak like me look hyper intelligent!

I mean, it’s all cool if you just want sex, but for a serious relation ship, you want a girl who doesn’t just want sex the whole time, you want a girl who will do other stuff with you aswell!!

Any girl who thinks guys just want sex, your generally wrong, guys wanna do other stuff with you aswell

Sure, guys do wanna have sex, but, they also want you to do stuff with you.

Fool!

ONLY 4% OF ALL PEOPLE ARE BIG BONE/HAVE A GLANDULAR DISORDER, YOU DUMB SHITS!

Your fat ‘cause you can’t be fucked to diet! Or if you do diet, you can’t be fucked sticking to it!

You dumb shit!

The only person you can blame is yourself!

Not your metabolism, or your glands!

You are fucking stupid!

Well you aint anymore tough then the rest of us, actually, I recon most people could show ya a thing or 3

I mean, your all like ‘yeah, I got hit in the head by a shovel and didn’t go down’ big fucking whoop!

Just shows you got a hard head!

Then when it comes to girls your all like ‘oh yeah, I love you baby’ when your really thinking ‘oh god, I wanna get into her pants!’

You little sonofabitch.

You’re fucking stupid.

I mean some are all right – wait, no there not! All the good shows weren’t game shows!

I mean, nation bingo night? Fucking hell! We’re running out of ideas! Can’t we just steal some concepts of Japanese game shows? They’re funny! Keep us amused! For fucks sake! I’m sorry guys but…

NOOOO FUCKING BINGO!

Get a fucking life you dweeb-nuggets! You aren’t gonna die with clothes that were all the rage last week, and you don’t need to be wearing an entire shipping crate of makeup, my fucking god, get a life! If your gonna wear makeup, fine, but it’s the natural beauty that guys see, I could understand maybe covering a zit up, perfectly understandable. Bit of eyeliner – yeah that’s fine, if it suits you, do it. But you don’t need fucking cartons and cartons of makeup on your face to fucking look good! GAH! You’re so stupid! Ever thought you might look good WITHOUT fucking makeup? For gods fucking left testicle shows how little you actually think of yourself doesn’t it?

Fucking hell.

Seriously, have they got something against all the good shows? Them getting up the chaser every second week – what the fuck? They’re just jealous because the chaser wanted to stay with ABC and not them – go cry about it asswipes, leave the chaser alone. You say that nobody likes the show – I’m a diehard fan, so are more than at least 50% of the Australians population – so go cry – I mean, your show blows goats. Another show there getting up – summer heights high. So what if the people swear on it? Big whoop! They say it’s a bad influence on little kids – what little kids would be awake at fucking 10:00 at night to actually WATCH the fucking show! Seriously today to – fucking – night, screw your head back on – get of the drugs, and stop picking on shows whose general fan base could quench your whole channel – and then some.

I mean, you shouldn’t judge people until you’ve talked to them for at least 10 minutes – even then it’s not cool.

The only exception you HAVE to judge people, would be if you where actually a judge. And lets face it, that’d be a shit job; you get paid to tell people jail sentences, boring! I wanna be the guy who yells out ‘ALL RISE FOR THE HONORABLE MRS SHITTLEBUTTOCKS!’ – And just to point it out, she’s a judge in Arizona USA. – What a shittlebuttocks name to have!

So anyway, judgementalism is not cool, in any way shape form or puddle of vomit.

That’s what the so called ‘popular’ people do all the time – why should we stoop to their level? Can I get an AMEN?

I don’t mean ‘god shalt smite thou down!’ I mean. Doom.

You know, everyone dies? Yes, that doom.

Not from some religious megalomania, from completely man made reasons;

GLOBAL WARMING! – And cue the scream -

and no, it’s not bullshit, it’s happening. It’s drying out the globe. Sure, we probably wont die out completely in my lifetime, or even my kids, but it will happen, and my ghost will be there laughing my ass off going ‘suck shit! I’m a ghost, I don’t need water anymore!’ and I will watch people die, for my own, sick amusement. HURRAH!

It’s taking us over, making even the average grade B student, seem like a mini Einstein. And it’s not the persons fault if there stupid! It’s their teachers! Like, I’ll use an example that recently happened to me; I’ve had the same maths teacher all year. And he taught me jack shit. this new teacher I have, has taught me more in the last 3 weeks that I’ve had her, that my old one taught me in a whole year. Because she is a good teacher. Now, I think I might just scrape past maths, instead of completely failing it. I now vaguely understand algebra. I used to have a D average in maths. Now I’m up to about a C, due to the teaching. So I have reached the conclusion.

Most Teachers, Are Stupid.

Bacteria -> Monkey -> Ape -> Human

God can’t exist, if we were made in his image – where was his mother? And how was she made? To what father was gods’ almighty sperm born? Every time I ask I get this one answer; ‘he just always was’

how the flying fuck is the possible?

How many Christians have ever actually read the bible?

All it is, is a contradiction

‘on the first day, there was nothing. But gods’ spirit was flying of the water.’

Two problems

problem number 1 – there was nothing; now there’s water did he just randomly create the water, so he could have something to fly over?

Problem number 2 – so he’s a spirit now? What happened to all powerful being?

That is one of many contradictions found in the Christian faith. Often many are on one page.

Another one says that Mary is a virgin, correct?

‘And then gods spirit lay apon her unwilling body, and bedded her’

if that ain’t rape, then I don’t know what is. Anyone else recon that sound like rape? Sure as hell does to me.

Now I’m not trying to change your beliefs, I’m just doing what you do to me; try to push your faith on to me. I’m just pushing my non faith on to you.

It’s true.

Ever noticed how people who take life seriously have, little or no social life?

STOP TAKING LIFE SO SERIOUSLY.

It’s all gonna end up the same. We’re gonna die. So why does it matter how you end up. Can’t you be content with what you got? Instead of wanting what you don’t have. Sure, it would be nice to have that second pool. But you ain’t gonna die without it. I’m content with my Spartan lifestyle. So can you be. In today’s society, everything’s a test; can I get to the bar in time for tight ass Tuesday? Can I make it to the bathroom in time to puke? They’re all tests, created by us, in our test driven society, we assume that we have to make everything a test, surely, the smarter of us distinguished by the obvious. Must you always test us? And the answer is, of course, answered by the higher powers, above yours, mine, even your parents’ control, there’s the minister of education, and the human mind. YOU MUST ALLWAYS PASS. Surely I’m not the only person to think of this? Is everyone so obsessed with tests, even a race, is a form of a test. A physical test.

Moose wants to help.

The group is divided – who will you join?

The popular people.

Anyone else noticed their up themselves manner? How they think they are above everyone else? How they automatically assume that people like them?

Well sorry guys, but you assumed wrong.

EVERYBODY HATES YOU. YOU UP YOURSELF BASTARDS.

You think your top shit. Well you got part of it right. You are shit. You treat everyone like dirt. I’m constantly waiting for a time to rebel, and get you mother fuckers back. And get you good.

‘But I don’t want to be an ant!’ I hear you think aloud to yourselves? The only way not to be an ant is so simple. Don’t Conform. Start with the small things, imperfections slowly growing so no-one notices until it’s too late, someone says ‘arrive at 7:30′ arrive at eight. They say eight; you arrive at 8:30. They say 6:00 tell them to fuck off ‘cos it’s too early.

‘We don’t want to conform to their reality.’

- Jen, Jacob and Brendan – school protest song.